Monday, March 1, 2010

Shining Light

Everyone is always telling me they're amazed at my strength. At how I manage to hold myself together when something so devastating as losing a child forced itself upon my world. I appreciate peoples' genuine admiration in that regard. It's nice that friends and family notice that I actively try to keep my head above water. It means I'm mostly successful at it, which in turn, means I'm somehow managing to meet my kids' needs.
The 26th came and went nearly as fast as Lucie did. The night before, I looked over old photos of their birth. I realized, I never got to look into her eyes. I'm sure they were just as blue as her sister's. They bring to mind tiny robin's eggs and spring moving in where the cold once presided. When you look into Helena's eyes, you are immediately rejuvenated; any clouds clear and the sun shines on green budded trees of your soul. Ironically, Helena's name literally means "sun ray or shining light". We never planned that. It just happened. Equally by chance, her middle name Grace, means "blessing". Indeed.

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